Living with Intention

Age 58

With the awareness to make conscious choices we can align with our truest self.

”When I’m 64...I’ll be carefree. Happily engaged in all I love, wise, insightful and responding to life vs reacting.  I will easily let go of all that doesn’t serve me and choose only what brings me joy.”

Only a younger me could have written in such absolutes, the me that was constantly striving.  The me that expected perfection from myself and others.  The me that was exhausted.  That me lived unconsciously, where hours ran into days, days into months and months into years.  It’s all a blur now but current me is grateful to understand this.  Current me knows that striving for some form of perfection leaves me missing out on the really good stuff.  The everyday, simple, right under my nose stuff.  What I’ve come to understand is every minute of life is meant to be enjoyed, not consumed.  Yes, life will disrupt our enjoyment but it’s always up to us to find our way back.

When we look forward it’s often our natural inclination to do so from the lens of what we’ve experienced in the past.  I’ve recently learned we are biologically wired to do this.  Our brain and nervous system are designed from an evolutionary perspective to keep us safe and in the familiar, not happy and fulfilled.  It takes work and courage to lift that lens.  To step into what is unknown and consciously create the life we want.  

Life is complicated.  Finding absolute peace and contentment is not realistic but having the resilience to find our way through life’s ups and downs can be. Current me has decided living the life I desire is more about having a framework for living than absolute goals.   A set of guiding principles that keep me focused when I feel untethered.  These are about what’s important to me and not based on the expectations of others.  With plenty of room for messiness because that’s life too.  During times of chaos or lack of structure it’s helpful to have something to hang on to, that you can control, that you can give yourself, that you can count on.

I believe our purpose in our seventh decade is the same as any other in our adult life.  To care for and share life lessons with those who will carry on our species, to use our talents to create positive impact and to enjoy every moment we can.  To “enjoy the journey” as my husband reminds me.  By our seventh decade we start to become unencumbered by societal programming.  With that freedom we can operate with the type of self awareness that guides us to contribute to whatever we do in a manner consistent with who we really are.  With the awareness to make conscious choices we can align with our truest self.  For each of us those choices will be different.  For me, when I am living consciously I am:

1.  Taking care of my physical and mental health.  Moving my body every day, drinking enough water, getting enough sleep, keeping up with regular medical screenings, managing stress, letting go easily and finding gratitude.

2. Careful about what I consume.  Not only by eating and drinking in a manner that makes me feel my best but also what I read, watch, scroll and who I spend time with.

3. Aware that my physical surroundings can effect my disposition and I take care to keep my surroundings clean, orderly, pretty and with minimal clutter.

4. Curious.  All day, every day.

5. Living within our means with plenty to spare for the unexpected and enough to give to others in need.

6.  Finding new uses for my talents, skills and experience.

7. Present and helpful to the important people in my life.

8. Kind.  To myself and those around me.  In what I say and what I do.  I forgive and let go easily and hold boundaries that are important to me.

I don’t get this right every day or even most days but when I do I feel my best.  When I feel my best I can find space for personal growth, new adventures and creativity.  When life feels off kilter I can come back to this list and find clarity about where I need to focus.  It has led me to interesting activities and people I couldn’t have imagined knowing.  It’s also shown me where I needed to step back from those that were not healthy for me.   

When I’m 64 I hope for the insight, energy and courage to follow whatever serendipity throws my way.  I know I will enjoy it if it is born from the choices I make with awareness.  I can relax because every day I am doing what’s important to me without the need for measurement or justification.  When I’m 64 I hope to be living well, however I choose to define that.